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About Setback
This is Paula's Dream
Setback is a dream 'realised'. When I was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma in June 2005, although I found the internet useful, what I ultimately found frustrating was the lack of people in my environment that could identify with me.
I worried that confiding in family and friends, may have them believing that I wasn't coping, because I knew my diagnosis was creating anxiety for more people than just myself.
While anticipating and waiting for my surgery, I had many nights alone. My partner at that time was an international adventure tour operator. He was away for the 2 weeks prior to my surgery... so there were many sleepless nights. Anxiety, fear, distress, irrational tears and an accompanied feeling of emptiness, brought about by a complete lack of energy.
It wasn't a pleasant experience and I wondered how other New Zealanders cope? Mums and Dads, coupled with the extra stress and worried how their diagnosis will affect their family, or parents coping with a diagnosis of a child. With separation and divorce statistics so high nowadays, I became concerned for the people diagnosed everyday, who may inevitably have no one to confide in. Setback intends to build a network of friends for all of New Zealand, groups of people who can identify with individuals in times of adversity and through their recovery. Setback will be a friend when your spouse is at work, support during a sleepless night, somewhere to laugh, somewhere to cry and somewhere to share as much or as little as you wish on any given day. Your contribution will help others understand the effects of a diagnosis.
There are however a few people in particular, some of whom I have never met,who motivated me to just 'get on' with this website.
A good friend of mine... her mother died of Multiple Sclerosis some years ago, I thought about how a website like this may have entertained her mum in the later stages of her illness. And now an equally good friend of mine is living with MS, so I hope she gets to benefit from this website.
My grandfather, 'Pop', died of Mastastized Prostate Cancer, December 1997. I was too young and selfish at that time to appreciate what was happening to him and how sick he actually was, I was naive I guess, but I am not anymore.
A friend of mine's father had a stroke in 2005 at retirement age. He had worked all his life, planning with his wife how they would spend their retirement. It was not the stroke itself that disabled him, but the head injury he suffered in the fall during his stroke. Now living in a rest home and only occasionally recognising his wife and sons, my friend's mother learns from medical professionals that her husband will never recover. In that minute her dreams of growing old with her best friend are destroyed. She committed suicide last year. It kills me to know she felt so helpless and I love my mum too much to ever imagine not having her around. Within such a short time, a perfectly planned life was dissembled so tragically.
Another friend of mine is Nicholas. He is a true inspiration living with disability caused by multiple strokes. He is the strongest, most mentally capable human I know. He has 'locked in syndrome'. His mind is able,his body is not, although he is proving medical professionals wrong and if anybody was to achieve this, I am certain it will be Nick.
Sonia. I followed her journey with Breast Cancer via a thread on a message board. She was one amazing lady!! She passed away in December 2006, leaving behind a family that adored her. I think about her and her family often.
Penelope. No tragedy here, just an amazing women, that I met during my recovery.
Dr Steve, my most favourite general practitioner.
My Mum and Stepfather, they truely love me.
My Dad, supported my equestrian lifestyle up until full time work and boys... Now at 32, he is helping me return to riding and I am so grateful.
My Bluecrush surfer girls!! Fi, Lee Lee and Bex.
Fiona, Lou, Tom, Nicky, Mel, Jan, Kelli, Lisa, Nan, Tania, Craig, Raewyn, Mike, Gen, Eryn. Raine, Storm, Sam, Bubs, Posh, Mel, Alan, Hamish, Jane, Val, Anne, Jo, Jeff, Jane C, Karen, Matt, Lauren, Daphne, Jeremy, Mr Swann, Bill, Kevin, Dave, Sue and Nathan, who has been the dynamite under my backside and Leta, who has made a dream a reality! ...so many people have inspired me to pursue my dreams, probably completely unaware of their contribution.
Paula Williams
Paula Williams
Latest page update: made by Leta-L
, Jun 5 2007, 10:35 PM EDT
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Edited by Leta-L
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